She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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