eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
