I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
