You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize