she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
