Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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