i was rollin on her like bob the builder
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
