if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
