Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I would fuck him just for his dog
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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