I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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