dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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