That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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