he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
