her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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