don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
