I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
