god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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