i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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