Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it's like heaven, but drunker
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
