I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
