u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i will never coherently bang her
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
