You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
