And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
