All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize