Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
as a side note pls kill me
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
