let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Naked Twister starts at high noon
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
