so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
