VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
