I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
