this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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