So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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