laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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