ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
