So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize