i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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