i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
