I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
