they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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