that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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