marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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