yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
