You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
