Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
