he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
