what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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