Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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