First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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