there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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