All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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