I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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