Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
