How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
