Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize