is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
they need to just BURY HIM!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
