All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
