saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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