I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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