3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
