Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
