maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
