pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
