Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
