put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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