Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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