I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
