i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did I show you my penis last night?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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