You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
