Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
