dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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