found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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