Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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