My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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