Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He? As in you personified your dick?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
