Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize