I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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