that's an acceptable place to lick
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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