I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
