What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
