Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
