do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is it penis luge time yet?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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