let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize