I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
