my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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