Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.

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(636): View more from Missouri

just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??

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(727): View more from Florida

how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard

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(718): View more from New York

Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.

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(954): View more from Florida

If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..

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