You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
